There are certain things that need to be put into consideration when making decisions on who you want to be mentored by. In recent of time its been quite a difficult task because we seldom find such people who may be suitable or appropriate to allow our lifestyle get tailored by. Then we ask ourselves individually, who really has the type of magnificent personalities that I would love to emulate? we'll get back to that later on.
I think you all would acquiesce with me that decisions to be made pertaining to this delicate issue of such must be carefully made to precision.
Here are a few likely things you should consider when making such decisons.
1. How do you see yourself to be like in the next 10 - 15 years to come?
You should search deeply down into yourself wherever you probably store your deepest secrets and desires. Then bring them to realisation by checking out notable people of high standards and classim in the society who perhaps you may have had one or two encounters with or who you are pretty sure of how their personalities, lifestyles and works they are known for yield to nothing but absolute positivity. I must say this is very important because once you are able to realise what exactly you want to be or what you want to be known for in the society, and you look up for someone who has got those similar success that you aspire to have and learn from both where they got it wrong and where they got it right, then could you be able to be even a lot more greater than or like your mentor.
2. Is your mentality built on positivism?
Now a lot of people may feel they have this positive thinking but yet they still have an ample amount of doubts in them. They feel either they may not achieve their big dreams or they may just end up lingering around the average class. But you see, until when you are able to boost your self esteem and propel yourself further from your break-spots, that's when your motivation gears up and those doubts are all cleared. The truth of the matter is, "you dont have to sit and wait for the motivation to come first before you pull through". Once you are able to do that, then you are at a juncture where the motivational aspect of it, is taking over by the type of mentoring you would be needing. Of course you would be needing some what of a mentor who could specifically bring you out of the obscurity of "never possible" to "always possible". someone who could speak positive things to you . That's the kind of mentor you need.
3. What are your limitations?
Well I find this also necessary because its the only way to solve a problem. A lot of people do not like to acknowledge the fact that they are lacking in some areas of their life. That to be honest is really a problem!. Some psychologists believe that when you have a problem and you are honest to yourself and admit it then that problem is halfway solved. The next that comes to mind is "what is the solution ( s ) to my problem" ? I dont think there's really a problem on earth without a solution. So whatever area in you find yourself lacking, you could browse up the net for some trustworthy people who have had past experiences and have perfected themselves in those similar areas so you learn from them. An uncle of mine told me once that in life there are three ways to learn, one is learning from someone's mistakes, another is learning from someone's mistakes after making that same mistake and finally is learning from your own mistakes. The easiest is the first one because you don't have to make the mistake the person has made...saving time.the hardest is the latter which is learning from your own mistakes because it would take a lot of time to pick up the pieces left from your mistakes and move on.
4. How do you keep a healthy mentor- mentee/protégé relationship?
Need I formally define who really a mentor is, a mentor is an experienced powerful role model. It could be a higher colleague in the office or someone you refer so much respect due to the professionalism or lifestyle of the person. You might be wondering why I used the word "powerful" ... yes!! a mentor is powerful because he/she is has the power of wisom that only experience can provide. The lessons and ideas from experience is shared with the less-experience person who in this case is a novice and that is the mentee or protégé. Now the only way you can keep this kind of a relationship going is if you as a protégé can respect and consistently follow your mentor's directives and instructions as you are sure they'll yield nothing more but excellent results in your life.
There is a subtle difference between a "role model" and a "mentor". The difference is a role model is someone you are aspiring to be like. For instance, you see someone on tv or in a magazine and then you like the person's style of dressing or the way the person talks and then you say to yourself, I want to dress like that person, I want to have an accent like that person and so on and then you begin to emulate those attributes of that person. While a mentor is like a coach that you learn from he or she's experiences because you have seen how successful or great that person has become and then you want to take instructions and ideas from that person that will guide you in carving out an imagery of a greater you of such as your mentor or even greater than your mentor.
This is a personal advice for whatever reasons you are having a mentor, always make sure he/she is someone you can reach often to share your problems with, if possible make sure your mentor is in the same field of career with you. It could be you need tips on how to handle a co-worker in the office or your boss, meet with your mentor and learn from his/her own experiences and mistakes. Remember, we make mistakes so we can learn more.
Posted by Carlbruce Nwajei
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