The Mistakes Parents Make.

Every teen at one stage or the other in their life time always ask themselves this question..." why does my dad and mum want me to be a doc or a lawyer or some other nobel professional? " . Well could it be that those are the best professions in the world? If you ask me I'd say, they are amongst the most recognised but not necessarily the best. Yes, a lot of these folks have great admiration and respects for these professions but really, are those the only good stuffs the world has got? Of course it's a Nope!.

I still can't get it why a dad in this helicopter parenting age... would want to push his boy or girl into a ward that he or she isnt prepared to get into. They say its discipline and could even involve some physical hurting to their children which is really wrong!. Yea..I know many African parents have this tenacious hold to some religious beliefs about discipling children. But it seems it skips thier minds so fast  that first, teens arent kids. despite the differences, we teens arent perfect and for me I dont see hitting your teenager as medium of correction for their wrongs. That shouldn't be your first move... "you are a parent and not a teacher"... please dont misconceive my concept on that one.

As a parent you should understand the characters of your child and how handle them in a modest way. Underestimating character. If there's one thing I hope that parents could really get  right in their children, it's their CORE Character, moral fiber, an inner compass... these things lay the
foundation for a happy, healthy future. They matter more than any report card or trophy ever won. They could force character on their kids, and at age 10 or 15  and those characters won't mean much. We as teens,  care about short-term gratification, but you as parents, know better. You know that what will matter at 25, 30 and 40 is not how far we once threw the football, or how smart we were at pre school but how the teens see and  treat others and what they think of themselves. If you as their parents and guardians want them to build character, confidence, strength and resilience, then you all need to let them face adversity and experience
the pride that follows when they come out stronger on the other side.

Ann Landers says..."it isnt all about what you do for your children but what you taught them to do for themselves that matters the most".
Although teens  know their parents for thier vigilance and early involvements in activities of our lives but we need to encourage them by putting the best of characters and an opened
mind for corrections.

As expected It's really  hard to see your loved ones fall, but sometimes you have to.
Sometimes you may have had to ask yourself whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but
in your quest  as a careful parent to make them happy, just  stay mindful to the fact that
sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain...
   I believe a ton parents would be thrilled and fascinated by these things they subconsciously do seemingly believing that they are easing the burdens of their children.  Well you might need to put these things into practice and see yourself living a sweet , peaceful and beautiful life with your teenagers and never have to feel weary when they come home on vacations...

Family is the most important thing in life and
my wish to all homes out there is.... a 'Beautiful and a Happy family!!!'.

By Carlbruce Nwajei.

Why people shake hands with their right-hand.

Sometimes I just sit on the couch and begin to imagine a lot of things. Having a lot of thoughts flying crossways through my mind and I'll be like there are really somethings that we do, not just because someone else forces us to them or that there are some rules that prohibit us from doing them but we just do them subconsciously or consciously because we feel it is normal.  I'll give an insight of the picture I am trying to print out here. Have you ever thought about why ladies sit down and cross their legs(even when putting on trousers) and guys sit down with their legs wide open? Or why people meeting others shake with their right hand as a form of greeting?  Well that's exactly where am driving at.

Some people just feel its a normal phenomenon that occurs on its own. ..or could it be that because majority of the people on planet earth are right-handlers? and so thats why we shake with our dominant hand...the answer is capital NO!!

The truth of the matter is, this all started about a century ago.The English soldiers who were travelling around the world when they came from far places to meet their colleagues they raise their right hands to indicate that they meant no harm and come in peace as friendly parties. However, these right hands are normally used to draw thier swords towards their foes. So when they raise up thier right hand without swords then it meant peace.

Of course I know a lot of people who are free-thinkers may not go down well with this but its actually were it all started from... its more like a custom that we inherited from the ancient people of the world. If you look at it from this dimension,  why do we really shake hands?  There are many reasons why we shake hands. It could be for business purposes at the end of a deal between two parties they shake hands to show an affirmation that they have an agreement. Also,  it could be for pleasantries...maybe meeting someone for the first time and then you shake hands. But if you ask me I'll say shaking hands its like an expression of intimacy between two persons.
Although in some places of the world its like a taboo to shake hands especially when it has to do with case of the opposite sexs. They see it as insulting and ill-mannerisms shaking a lady rather a French kiss is much preferred or a kiss on the fingers like the Jews.

Another dimension we could see reasons why we shake people with our right-hands is for hygienic purposes, due to the fact that we
Do the wiping of our bottom in the toilet with the left hand. So it would be quite impolite to bring forth the hand you use in wiping your butts to shake hands with someone else.  However, ask yourself this question what if the person I am about to shake has no right-hand? Well in this case you have no choice but to shake with the left. You may not really notice for some quick seconds because you are used to shaking people with your right hand. So if you are fast enough you could quickly change to your left without the person noticing.so that the person doesn't begin to feel uncomfortable. 

Posted by Carlbruce Nwajei. 

Who should be my mentor?

There are certain things that need to be put into consideration when making decisions on who you want to be mentored by. In recent of time its been quite a difficult task because we seldom find such people who may be suitable or appropriate to allow our lifestyle get tailored by. Then we ask ourselves individually, who really has the type of magnificent personalities that I would love to emulate? we'll get back to that later on.

I think you all would acquiesce with me that decisions to be made pertaining to this delicate issue of such must be carefully made to precision.

Here are a few likely things you should consider when making such decisons.

1. How do you see yourself to be like in the next 10 - 15 years to come?

You should search deeply down into yourself wherever you probably store your deepest secrets and desires. Then bring them to realisation by checking out notable people of high standards and classim in the society who perhaps you may have had one or two encounters with or who you are pretty sure of how their personalities, lifestyles and works they are known for yield to nothing but absolute positivity. I must say this is very important because once you are able to realise what exactly you want to be or what you want to be known for in the society,  and you look up for someone who has got those similar success that you aspire to have and learn from both where they got it wrong and where they got it right, then could you be able to be even a lot more greater than or like your mentor.

2. Is your mentality built on positivism?

Now a lot of people may feel they have this positive thinking but yet they still have an ample amount of doubts in them. They feel either they may not achieve their big dreams  or they may just end up lingering around the average class. But you see, until when you are able to boost your self esteem and propel yourself further from your break-spots, that's when your motivation gears up and those doubts are all cleared. The truth of the matter is, "you dont have to sit and wait for the motivation to come first before you pull through". Once you are able to do that, then you are at a juncture where the motivational aspect of it, is taking over by the type of mentoring you would be needing.  Of course you would be needing some what of a mentor who could specifically bring you out of the obscurity of "never possible" to "always possible". someone who could speak positive things to you . That's the kind of mentor you need.

3. What are your limitations?

Well I find this also necessary because its the only way to solve a problem. A lot of people do not like to acknowledge the fact that they are lacking in some areas of their life. That to be honest is really a problem!.  Some psychologists believe that when you have a problem and you are honest to yourself and admit it then that problem is halfway solved. The next that comes to mind is "what is the solution ( s ) to my problem" ? I dont think there's really a problem on earth without a solution. So whatever area in you find yourself lacking, you could browse up the net for some trustworthy people who have had past experiences and have perfected themselves in those similar areas so you learn from them. An uncle of mine told me once that in life there are three ways to learn, one is learning from someone's mistakes,  another is learning from someone's mistakes after making that same mistake and finally is learning from your own mistakes. The easiest is the first one because you don't have to make the mistake the person has made...saving time.the hardest is the latter which is learning from your own mistakes because it would take a lot of time to pick up the pieces left from your mistakes and move on.

4. How do you keep a healthy mentor-  mentee/protégé relationship?

Need I formally define who really a mentor is, a mentor is an experienced powerful role model.  It could be a higher colleague in the office or someone you refer so much respect due to the professionalism or lifestyle of the person. You might be wondering why I used the word "powerful" ... yes!! a mentor is powerful because he/she is has the power of wisom that only experience can provide. The lessons and ideas from experience is shared with the less-experience person who in this case is a novice and that is the mentee or protégé. Now the only way you can keep this kind of a relationship going is if you as a protégé can respect and consistently follow your mentor's directives and instructions as you are sure they'll yield nothing more but excellent results in your life.

There is a subtle difference between a "role model" and a "mentor". The difference is a role model is someone you are aspiring to be like. For instance,  you see someone on tv or in a magazine and then you like the person's style of dressing or the way the person talks and then you say to yourself, I want to dress like that person, I want to have an accent like that person and so on and then you begin to emulate those attributes of that person. While a mentor is like a coach that you learn from he or she's experiences because you have seen how successful or great that person has become and then you want to take instructions  and ideas from that person that will guide you in carving out an imagery of a greater you of such as your mentor or even greater than your mentor.

This is a personal advice for whatever reasons you are having a mentor,  always make sure he/she is someone you can reach often to share your problems with, if possible make sure your mentor is in the same field of career with you.  It could be you need tips on how to handle a co-worker in the office or your boss, meet with your mentor and learn from his/her own experiences and mistakes. Remember, we make mistakes so we can learn more.

Posted by Carlbruce Nwajei

"Madiba"- HERO OF THE BLACKS & WHITES.

Now is the time to reminisce about those who have sacrificed alot for us to have a peaceful and worthwhile life to live today. Those who at the expenses of their comfort made for sure that we the then unborn generations could have a chance to live harmoniously in peace.

Many ages past when the salient talk of the moment then was about the man who some people thought had got some mental imbalances for him to be threatening the colonialism of the whites in Africa. He fervently fought against those who seize the rights to freedom from his people. Even at the point where South Africa was at the verge of segregating during the ugly face of the Apartheid, with him thrown to wallow in the gallows. I bet he must have felt like he was born into a " world of doom " through facing all kinds of hosts of evil from those who threw him behind bars. However he made for sure that he achieved his goals, the freedom he wanted for his people and most of all the peace we all want in our lives.

It was quite unbelievably shocking that this man said that on his acquittal,  "there shouldn't be any conditions attached that he would do before he could earn the freedom for his people"...Oohh how patroitic, he knew what was right and he went for it . He had a heart that would never be restrained by social or economic injustices. Not just that, he had a remarkably forgiving ability as to forgive those 27 years jailers in Robben Island prison.

After being behind bars for almost three decades. He got out and became the first elected black president of South Africa. He ruled for just a single term fulfilling the promise he made on entering the office of presidency. He was a fair, serene and simple ruler.

Although he is gone, but he would forever be remembered in the hearts of many as a man who gave hope to everyone.

We all know that he is "A sung hero" of all nations...I'd recall a comment that president Obama made that "he was a personal hero and I cant imagine my life without him because he was an inspiration ". 
Former South African president F.W. de Klerk, who was the last white president of the country before Mandela came to power, had nothing but praise for the 'father' of the country.
Former prime minister of the United Kingdom said "the world has lost one of its finests ruler of all times " A man who had respect for human dignity.....Nelson Mandela.

Everyone sends heartfelt sympathy to the Nelson Mandela family as he joins the ages. A name given to him by his hometown people. He is......"Madiba".

The city life.

Ever wondered what it feels like to be trapped up in an environment where one less person cares about your welfare? Well I am not going to be on intense versatility about this subject matter called the "city life". In a continent like AFrica where her constituents countries have got a low income per capital generally, it could be a very suitable area of concerns pertaining to the harsh and unfriendly socio-economic relationship harboured in big cities situated in Africa.It is a very perturbing case to note the fact that this very predicament is heading to a climax stage in this our society.A wholesome lot of people may surmise that its just a mere exaggeration of the actual situation happening in this part of the world but only if they could just have a slight encounter with  some of these weary things that happen here in africa or getting acquainted with the victimized persons... then will they be brought out of this obscurity that "africans" are overtly over rating their problems.

Getting out of your home in a beautiful morning, taking a walk to work and having a glimpse of the dusty scents of the streets of the city is one of the things that most young lads in Africa wouldn't miss for even an earned ride to their work places. Although the city is quite a loveable place for habitation but it is filled with gross insubordination. That is why these days a lot of people are being scared out of their wits that it could only take a split of a second to meet their demise. However, we've still got some strong gutted people who still face these distasteful challenges and wouldn't let their courage faltering even at the prospect of these hardships. This isnt all fabricated to bore you or inflict fears into the mind but just an enlightenment on how devastating and challenging the city life could be.

Post by Carlbruce Nwajei.